Marriage

Mazeltov! Mazeltov!

You are about to embark on an incredible life journey and the South Caulfield Hebrew Congregation would be honoured to assist you in your most memorable day!

Our Shule is a beautiful venue to host a Chupah and our Rabbi is also available to officiate at other venues. Bookings can be made via the Shule office or feel free to be in touch with the Rabbi for an initial discussion.

Our Rabbi is a certified marriage celebrant and will assist you with all your marriage requirements both for civil and Jewish law.

The Rabbi and Rebbetzin also teach marriage classes, which includes a short course covering the Jewish Family Purity Laws, understanding the wedding day as well other practical advice for the next big step in life. The Rabbi offers the Prepare Enrichment program which assists couples in thinking about married life and this is included in the wedding package.

If you are not yet a South Caulfield Shule member, the Shule will include one year complimentary membership for the couple.

To get the process started, give the office or Rabbi a call and they will advise you on the next steps. In the meantime, feel free to read some general information regarding a Jewish wedding.

Some information about a Jewish wedding
A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people.

The following guide explains the beauty and joy of the Jewish wedding traditions.

The Wedding Day
The dawning wedding day heralds the happiest and holiest day of ones life. This day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the chatan (Hebrew for groom) and kallah (bride), for on this day all their past mistakes are forgiven as they merge together to become one soul.

As on Yom Kippur, both the chatan and kallah fast on their wedding day (in this case, from dawn until after the completion of the marriage ceremony). And at the ceremony, many have the custom that the chatan wears a kittel, the traditional white robe worn on Yom Kippur.

Kabbalat Panim
It is customary for the chatan and kallah not to see each other for one week preceding the wedding. This increases the anticipation and excitement of the event. Therefore, prior to the wedding ceremony, the chatan and kallah greet guests separately. This is called Kabbalat Panim.

Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The kallah will be seated on a throne to receive her guests, while the chatan is surrounded by guests who sing and toast him.

At this time there is a tradition for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to show the seriousness of the commitment just as the breaking of a plate can never be reversed, so too their new relationship should never be reversed.

Badeken
Next comes the badeken, the veiling of the kallah by the chatan. The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive physical appearances may be, the inner soul and character are paramount.

The chatan, accompanied by family and friends, proceeds to where the kallah is seated and places the veil over her face. This is an ancient custom and signals the grooms commitment to clothe and protect his wife. It is reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac (Genesis ch. 29).

Chuppah
The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the home to be built and shared by the couple. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome friends and relatives through unconditional hospitality.

The chuppah is usually held outside, under the stars, as a sign of the blessing given by God to the patriarch Abraham, that his children shall be as the stars of the heavens (Genesis 15:5).

The chatan and kallah wear no jewelry under the chuppah. This symbolizes that their mutual commitment is based on who they are as people, not on any material possessions.

The chatan, followed by the kallah, are usually escorted to the chuppah by their respective sets of parents.

Under the chuppah, the kallah circles the chatan seven times. Just as the world was built in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couples new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

The kallah then settles at the chatans right-hand side.

Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin)
Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup accompanies the betrothal blessing, and after these are recited, the couple drinks from the cup.
Wine, a symbol of joy in Jewish tradition, is associated with the Kiddush, the sanctification prayer recited on Shabbat and festivals. Marriage, which is called Kiddushin, is the sanctification of a man and woman to each other.

Giving of the Ring
In Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the chatan gives an object of value to the kallah. This is traditionally done with a ring. The ring should be made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones).

The chatan now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two witnesses, he declares to his wife, Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel. He then places the ring on the forefinger of his brides right hand. According to Jewish law, this is the central moment of the wedding ceremony, and the couple is now fully married at this point.

If the kallah also wants to give a ring to the chatan, this is only done afterwards, not under the chuppah. This is to prevent confusion as to what constitutes the actual marriage, as prescribed by the Torah.

Ketubah (Marriage Contract) 
Now comes the reading of the ketubah (marriage contract) in the original Aramaic text. In a Jewish marriage, the chatan accepts upon himself various responsibilities which are detailed in the ketubah. His principal obligations are to provide food, shelter and clothing for his wife, and to be attentive to her emotional needs. The protection of the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage may not be solemnized until the contract has been completed.

The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage. It is often written amidst beautiful artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home.

The Seven Blessings
The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are now recited over the second cup of wine. The theme of these blessings links the chatan and kallah to our faith in G-d as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer of our people.

These blessings are recited by the rabbi or other people that the families wish to honor.

At the conclusion of the seven blessings, the chatan and kallah again drink some of the wine.

Breaking the Glass
A glass is now placed on the floor, and the chatan shatters it with his foot. This serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. A Jew, even at the moment of greatest rejoicing, is always mindful of the Psalmists injunction to set Jerusalem above my highest joy.

In jest, some explain that this is the last time the groom gets to put his foot down.
This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of Mazel Tov, the chatan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as they leave the chuppah together and head toward the Yichud room, their temporary private chamber.

Yichud
The couple are escorted to a private room and left alone for a few minutes. These moments of seclusion signify their new status of living together as husband and wife.
Since the couple has been fasting since the morning, at this point they break their fast.

The Festive Meal (Seudah) 
It is a mitzvah for guests to bring simchah (joy) to the chatan and the kallah on their wedding day. There is much music and dancing as the guests celebrate with the new couple. After the meal, Birkat Hamazon (Grace After Meals) is recited, and the Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessing) are repeated.

During the week following the wedding, it is customary for friends and relatives to host festive meals in honor of the chatan and kallah. This is called the week of Sheva Brachot, because of the blessings said at the conclusion of each of these festive meals.

(Reprinted with permission from aish.com, a leading Judaism website)